I'm Supposed to Change the World, Right?

With a signed David Archuleta CD in one hand and a Equality Utah sign in the other, I walked into my apartment Sunday night confident that I had just had one of these best weekends I've had since I've gotten to Utah.

Pride was fantastic. This much was clear from outside and inside the parade: We love each other, we support each other, and we accept each other. It was a beautiful day, from the weather to the cause.

I wonder about the future. It comes naturally to people my age. Well, I guess everybody who has ever had a coherent thought has wondered about their future, but kids like me spend a lot of time thinking about it. (Sometimes they take meds to help them not obsess about it, but that's another story.) For young college kids especially, though, identities are forming and one is experiencing change that's hard to keep up with. Add to that a society that worships the "individual," and kids like me every where get the feeling that there is one calling out there for them, just for them, waiting for them. I am supposed to change the world, right?

I'm not so sure. But one thought that I had recently made me think about what I want to do with myself in ways that I hadn't before. It went something like this:

What if right now, in this moment, everything froze and I couldn't move? What if the world froze and all the clocks halted, and everything had to sit for 100 years or 1,000 years or whatever, and the only moving, changing parts I had left were my thoughts? What would I miss? What would I regret? What would I think about to pass the time?

I've thought a lot about this... and I think I have a good plan (a plan good enough for now at least).