Crushes!

           As silly as this sounds, one of the greatest parts of understanding that I am gay was realizing that I had crushes on celebrities. Everybody I know has had some sort of infatuation with a famous figure. I take a mental inventory of my friends, and I can name at least one famous person that each of them finds attractive. For my girl friends, Matthew Morrison and Ben Barnes and the Jonas Brothers seem to be fairly popular. For the guys, literally every last one of them starts salivating whenever Megan Fox bends over or whenever they encounter a reference to Taylor Swift. (I believe that nowadays, guy's dorms across the country come provided with a poster of Taylor Swift. In my adventures among guy's dorms at BYU I observed most had posters of the country star in such prominent places, you'd think she were some lesser Mormon deity.)

          I had always been greatly disturbed at my lack of interest in women, especially the super star variety. Every man seemed to have some sort of strong pull to one or the other. To be completely frank about my feelings towards the ladies mentioned above, I would have to say Megan Fox grosses me out and that I would love to have lunch with Taylor Swift. Maybe we could go shopping afterwards...

            Understanding now that I am gay, I would like to celebrate by listing my top three celebrity crushes and describe why I am not-so-secretly obsessed with them. If anything in my post hasn't given away how young I am, this list will, to be sure. Feel free to laugh; I don't mind. It makes me smile and it makes me content to know I can be so completely and illogically bowled over by cute guys :)

 

          3.) Shia LeBeouf

            Does anybody else see those eyes? They're gorgeous! He's gorgeous! I confess that I have no idea how long I spent staring at his photo shoot in April's GQ. I was going to give you an egregiously hyperbolic estimation, but the amount of time doesn't seem to matter because he is just so lovely. Let me just say LeBeouf wears the crap out of those suits he wore in that shoot, and I wouldn't ever be able to concentrate in an office if he was there, let alone if he looked like that... *sigh*

           Anyway, he's also a pretty darn good actor. I'm not so sure about the quality of his latest roles; I didn't see Wall Street. However, he seems to have a knack for playing the quirky, slightly dorky characters which I love because I am, quite simply, a dork. Other attractive qualities include his voice. There's this indescribable quality to it that's just... so... well... yeah....

           The downside? Shia LeBeouf seems to me to be a jerk. Of course, I don't know him, so I don't care. He's beautiful.

          

           2.) Michael Angarano

             Do you even know who he is? I'm not sure he's well known, but that doesn't impact how I feel. If I were to ever encounter him in real life, I'd involuntarily blush madly, make a really awkward rapidly mumbled attempt at a, “Hello,” and then, I'd hug him. Then, I'd probably be arrested for being so awkward.

           I believe I am obsessed due to how completely disarming his smile is. His smile makes me smile every time. And that picture of him biting a chair is hilarious and adorable... (Sorry if this is creepy.) For me, Angarano can do no wrong and every expression of his makes me melt.

           He is one of the many reasons why The Forbidden Kingdom is such an entertaining movie, and even though the movie was really uncomfortable, his performance in Gentleman Broncos was really heartwarming and authentic.

           The downside? He dated Kristin Stewart, which is a strong indication that he is straight. Secretly, I rejoiced when I found out that Kristin and Rob were to be wed... and now you know why. I am a very jealous dreamer.

            1.) David Archuleta

            And now, Mr. Number One, David.

             I don't know if you have ever felt this way before, but let me frame how I feel about David in the form of a question: Have you ever been so infatuated with a person you could barely look at them because if you did look at them your eyes would reveal how absolutely hard you fell for them? Yeah, that's me.

            There was a point in time where I had difficulty suppressing embarrassing outbursts unfitting of a teenage boy when I saw a picture of David or heard one of his songs. I'm proud to say that I can now look at a picture of him and listen to his music, without making a scene. Yes, I am pathetic.

             Everything about him draws me in. He is ridiculously good looking (hair, eyes, smile, sense of fashion, whatever else that counts...) and all that, but he also is a talented singer, my personal favorite to come out of American Idol. His voice, speaking and singing, turn me into a human puddle. He also seems really sweet. I shamelessly confess to watching interviews with Archuleta, and he has this way of meandering through his sentences that is really endearing. David also is a self-proclaimed dork, which means that we are meant to be together forever :P (Hahaha, this is the Mormon part of me that is attracted to other Mormons.)

             His latest album The Other Side of Down is really great, and I've listened to it countless times since it came out a couple of months ago. Maybe it's my obsession with him that makes it so, but I swear he sings the soundtrack of my life. Even before I realized he was my first celebrity crush, I could relate to his music. His music is comforting, uplifting, and just plain fun.

             One last item of note concerning David Archuleta: Every time I see him, my gaydar goes off. Listening to his music makes one wonder, especially songs like “Crush”, "Angels", and “My Kind of Perfect.” Especially "Angels." The song is about loving angels instead... I assume instead of another living human being. Doesn't that idea fit in with that Mormon belief that gay men will eventually find a woman to marry, even if it's in the afterlife? (I'm pretty sure that's not what the songs about, but it fits.) Sure it sounds like he's talking about girls, but really... I don't know... Something doesn't seem right. I've also noticed when he talks about dating, he claims he's never dated anyone and he tends to stick with gender neutral words. I know people defend David by saying he's just a “Sweet Mormon Guy” that's just really nice to people, but I am also one of those “Sweet Mormon Guys” whose sexuality is assumed based on my religion. I won't even mention that time he was seen at a gay establishment...

              His sexuality is his own business. Gay or straight, I'm still obsessed with him. It just makes me sad if he really is gay and won't admit it to himself. It wouldn't be likely he'd come out of the closet anytime soon considering most of his fans are teenage girls and that he probably has deep-seated Mormon homophobia. It's really a sad thought...

            Hahahaha, I've thought/researched wayyyyy too much about this ;P

            So there you go. My top three celebrity crushes. Looking back on this particular group of people it occurs to me that I may have a certain type I'm attracted to... Huh, that was unintentional. I guess I know what to keep an eye out for!