Dear Prophet, Have You Prayed For Me?

        “For it came to pass after I had desired to know the things that my father had seen, and believing that the Lord was able to make them known unto me, as I sat pondering in mine heart I was caught away in the Spirit of the Lord, yea, into an exceedingly high mountain, which I never had before seen, and upon which I never had before set my foot.” (1 Nephi 11:1)

             In The Book of Mormon, the prophet Nephi wanted to see the vision his father Lehi had seen. He meditated on his father's words, and he received an angelic messenger and a vision. Not only did he see his father's dream, but he also saw the Christ's earthly ministry, the destiny of his own people, and other wondrous things.

            “On the third of October, in the year nineteen hundred and eighteen, I sat in my room pondering over the scriptures;

            And reflecting upon the great atoning sacrifice that was made by the Son of God, for the redemption of the world;

              And the great and wonderful love made manifest by the Father and the Son in the coming of the Redeemer into the world;

             That through his atonement, and by obedience to the principles of the gospel, mankind might be saved.

             While I was thus engaged, my mind reverted to the writings of the apostle Peter, to the primitive saints scattered abroad throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, and other parts of Asia, where the gospel had been preached after the crucifixion of the Lord.

             I opened the Bible and read the third and fourth chapters of the first epistle of Peter, and as I read I was greatly impressed, more than I had ever been before, with the following passages:

            'For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit:

             'By which also he went and preached unto the spirits in prison;

             'Which sometime were disobedient, when once the longsuffering of God waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was a preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were saved by water.' (1 Peter 3:18–20.)

             'For for this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit.' (1 Peter 4:6. )

             As I pondered over these things which are written, the eyes of my understanding were opened, and the Spirit of the Lord rested upon me, and I saw the hosts of the dead, both small and great.” (D&C 138:1-11)

            In the Doctrine & Covenants 138, Joseph F. Smith goes on to recount a vision he received from the Lord after he pondered scriptures found in the New Testament. This vision informs much of what Mormons believe about the afterlife.

            There are other prophets in the scriptures that pondered God's word, and received spectacular visions and a better understanding of God's plan. Off the top of my head, I can think of King Benjamin and Alma. They received great visions and comprehension after asking God. In the Bible, God granted visions to prophets such as Isaiah and John. Insights and records of prophets such as these have shaped Mormon beliefs. No doubt all the prophets of old only received such important doctrinal visions after sincere prayer and inquiry.

           And of course, there is the First Vision:

            “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” (James 1:5)

             Joseph Smith lacked wisdom; he didn't know which church to join. In a grove of trees near his home, Joseph asked God what church he should worship in. He saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and learned that they were two separate Beings, Joseph learned that they have bodies of flesh and blood. He learned that there was no true church on the earth. The Restoration had begun, and Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon and formed the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

            Prophets have asked and they have received. The trend is recorded many, many times in the Scriptures. They have pondered and they have prayed, and their miraculous visions teach us important truths and doctrines.

           And yet, there are so many questions left unanswered... These are a few of mine:

            Which of the General Authorities have pondered and prayed to understand their gay brothers and sisters? Which of them have studied the scriptures, laid aside their own prejudices, and inquired sincerely to our Heavenly Father to know His purpose for homosexuality? Has any Apostle or Prophet got on their knees and asked God to know the destiny of gay people?

             

             Perhaps they already have pondered and prayed. And perhaps there are no answers to be had. Do the heavens remain silent for a reason? I don't know. I hope not. What kind of trial of faith would that be? What would God be trying to teach by leaving such answers unknown? Mormons pride themselves with the fact they can answer those fundamental questions of who we are, why we are here, and where are we going...

             In my mind, those three questions are gaping holes to those of us who are gay. Who am I, Father? Why was I born gay? What does being gay mean in the eternities? God, why am I gay?

              I believe in the Gospel of Christ, and the scriptures in which I place my faith are replete with angelic visitations and wondrous visions. I am part of a church that believes that God has revealed and will yet reveal many "great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God." If God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, then He can visit His prophet with angels and visions. Has President Monson asked God about His gay children? Has President Monson prayed for me?

            I can see it now:

           "For it came to pass that after Thomas S. Monson desired to know these things, and believing the Lord would make it known unto him, he sat pondering in his heart and was caught up in the Spirit of the Lord..."

            Or maybe:

              "As Thomas S. Monson pondered over these things which are written, the eyes of his understanding were opened, and the Spirit of the Lord rested upon him, and he saw the hosts of those who are [gay, same-sex attracted] both small and great.”

              I believe it can happen. When living the Gospel is hard, I tell myself I believe not because the Gospel answers all my questions, but because with the Gospel I can live a good life without the answers to all my questions. It's just... this doctrine of asking and receiving; the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints only exists because of it! Isn't it time to try the word of the Lord once more?

Dear Prophet, have you prayed for me?